<kay, my warning: Ive been told this has a fluffiness factor of -25000. -_- Its sad, insane, icky icky, and such. I know it seems like I /never/ write happy scenes, but...I..er..um......*pout* I will! I just havent really had a lot of happy stuff to write... *shruggles* Anyway, I really really hope I dont depress you guys like my last ones did. -_- Gomen ahead of time.
This takes place the night of... *checks clock date* night of 2/19/01.>
The fire was starting to die down a little. A warm glow expanded from it, the flickers of the flames and shadows bouncing off the walls around Fue-chan. She sat in front of it, cricket style, just gazing into it hollowly, her mind too distant to scry.
I did it. I actually broke up with Jerome. And so quickly.... Somehow, she hadnt meant it to be so sudden and...fast, but Jerome wouldnt hear of it, of her breaking his heart slowly. She hasnt even been sure she /was/ breaking up with him...shed wanted to them to talk about it, figure out what to do, but hed fled so quickly, and it hurt her heart too much to chase him. A panicked, fleeting pain filled her, told her to go right back up to his room and sob to him how much she loved him, cry that she couldnt be apart from him, but something was keeping her right here, seated silently in front of the fire. It felt scary suddenly, knowing he was not hers anymore, and she was not his, not for the fear of being alone, but the dear of losing him all together....forever.
Eran has said hed ruined everything for her. That confused her, how he could think that. And everyone else...everyone thought it had been because of Eran that she broke up with Jerome...just the same as how everyone thought it was because of Jerome that shed broken up with Eran so long ago. Am I that weak? Does everyone see me that way? It was true, the suddenness of her decision had been because of her talk with Eran, but she wasnt so petty and shallow for another man to be the only reason, just as it hadnt been when she ended it with Eran. Jerome didnt love me, and somehow I knew we would never live together the rest of our lives. It wasnt plausible, it didnt make sense, her and Jerome being married and parents. Sure, opposites attract, but sometimes, too many differences can be miserable.
Why did I fall in love with him in the first place? she wondered. I felt a need to cure him of his loneliness...a yearning to have him cure mine. I saw a beautiful, caring soul in those beautiful green eyes....and I still do. She remembered walking through Jackiland, knowing he was safely asleep by the forest, and wishing only for him to be happy, for him to know he was loved, whether or not it was returned. It truly didnt matter that he didnt love her, it truly didnt bother her, but in the end, that fact had only helped her believe it wouldnt bother him not to be with her. Her gaze fell to her hands. I really do love him. Madly, I do. But..... Vaguely, she wondered how it would turn out.
A tear slid down her cheek and heel to drop onto the wooden handle of the knife, soaking into it. The blade and underside of the handle rested in her hand. She gazed at it emptily for a moment before bringing it up and cutting down the underside of her arm, a tiny bit of blood coming there. More tears ran down her cheeks as she cut up her arms more as if it were normal, a casual everyday thing to do, singing in a shaky, tear-filled, almost eerie voice a song about dancing and merry lads and lasses, including all the la la las. The pain and the singing distracted her, but didnt halt the stream of tears that flowed down her cheeks, that inflicted her voice, that hadnt seemed to stop since she broke up with him. Her hair stuck wetly to her cheeks, to her tears, and she went to brush it away with the knife, cutting her cheek a little, but slicing off the single strands.
Fue-chans eyes widened a little. She grasped the thick lock of hair and stared at it. Itd taken so long to grow....shed been so happy that it was long again.. Jerome loved my hair. Hed always be running his hands through it... She swallowed down more tears and shut her eyes tightly as she brought the knife up, still grasping the thick strand, and sliced the knife through her hair. It sliced off easily, and the cut off hair fell loosely in her hand. Shed cut it just barely below her chin, and the hair in her hand measured a good six inches. More tears came as she carefully arranged the cut hair in front of her and went for the rest.
Every lock she cut off when down to a neat pile of her hair, all laid out as it fell, and she set down the knife next to her when she was done, raising a hand to the hem of her dress skirt and ripped it, pulling out a thick strand of cloth and tying it around the cut hair, creating a bundle. The rest of her hair, sloppily chopped off, now came below her chin a little, almost unevenly, especially in the back. She let out a soft sob for the loss of her hair, but didnt regret it. With that, she brought the knife back up again to begin cutting her arms again when a voice stopped her.
She turned her head slowly toward the doorway of the main room where Seibrum stood, his eyes huge and panicked. Without another word, he bound into the room, striding over to her quickly.
What the hell have you done??! he exclaimed at the notice of her chopped off hair, his statement sounding angrier than he meant it to, and he reached to grab the knife from her.
Fue-chans eyes flashed wildly, and she stumbled back onto the floor, clutching the knife to her tightly, Dont...
He stared at her, seeing the bleeding cuts on the undersides of her arms then, dozens of them, seeing the knife clutched tightly in her hands, and memories flashed back to him. Blood...everywhere... His head hurt. Hed begun shaking and said in a weak voice, Fue-chan, give me the knife...
Seibrums gaze fell upon a bundle of hair--her cut off hair--tied with a green ribbon. She was mad ...he bent to grab the bundle, Fue-chan, your hair--
As his fingers touched it, she exclaimed panickedly, Dont touch it!! he stared at her, frozen, as more tears poured down the girls cheeks, sobbing, dont touch it... dont.... its Jeromes...
Jeromes? What was she talking about??
Fue-chan, you need to give me the knife.... he tried again, trying to sound calm and steady but finding it hard.
She shook her head childishly, holding the blade so tightly in her hands blood began to drip down the handle. Seibrum winced at the flashes, but his eyes caught somebody walking by. Oh, please, let them help... He turned fully to see Zei walking, and called out panickedly, Zei!!
The mazoku turned, cocking an eyebrow, his gaze moving over Fue-chan silently. He brought his gaze back up to Seibrums.
Almost helplessly, the elf beseeched him, Zei, please, help me stop her...
Zei gazed at him coldly, What do I care what the bitch does to herself?
Seibrums tone pleaded, Zei...please...she wont let me get near her...
There was a considering silence, Zeis gaze moving back to Fue-chan, before he let out an irritated sigh and faded out. He reappeared behind Fue-chan, roughly pulling her to her feet and reaching to grab the knife. She let out a choked cry of startlement, the knife dropping from her bloody hands.
Please, just hold her there... Seibrum said, stepping forward.
Fue-chan jerked her head up to the elf, writhing a little as Zei held her arms behind her, up against her back, choking out, Touch me and Ill scream....
Seibrum winced, Fue-chan, this is ridiculous-- but he cut himself as his hand went to her arm, and she began to shriek panickedly, fearfully, loudly. Both the men winced, but Zei didnt loosen his hold.
Fue-chan, stop!! Seibrum c cried, trying to make her stop screaming, but she just went on, sobbing and shrieking for help, for them to let her go.
Youre insane... Zei gritted his teeth, gazing at her with slightly wide eyes, his brow furrowed. Seibrum got close enough to clap a hand over the girls mouth, to which she only screamed more, struggling and kicked against the mazoku.
What are you /doing/?!
The three of them looked up to see Hazel in the doorway, staring at them horrifiedly. At his entrance, Fue-chan broke free of Seibrums hand and shrieked, Help me, please!!
Hazel didnt know who these men were, hed only seen them around a bit, but hed talked to the girl, Fue-chan, that one night, and it was clear what was happening here. She continued to shriek, Theyre hurting me!! Please, help!!
Hazel narrowed his eyes, Let her go. Now.
Seibrum was about ready to just pass out, Please, no, youve got it all wrong..
Hazels gaze didnt change, I dont think so. Let her go.
Please, theyre hurting me!!
Zei turned furiously to Fue-chan, /What/?! Were fucking stopping you from hurting /yourself/, bitch!!
Fue-chan, tears streaming down her cheeks, her arms and hands bloody, a small cut on her face, the bottom of her dress torn, and her hair a royal mess, met her eyes pleadingly with Hazels, Please....dont believe them...
Both Seibrum and Zei stared at Fue-chan, one baffled, one furious. Seibrum started, Fue-chan, what are you--
Let her go!! Hazel was stepping forward now. He didnt know how wise he was being... hed seen the power of this other demon. He was strong.... And he himself didnt have a lot of powers at all. But the girl needed help, and he had to do /something/.
Zei, getting utterly fed up with all this, raised his hand boredly and shot out a black energy ball towards Hazel. It hit the demon in the chest, and he fell back with a cry of pain, wincing. Fue-chan only shrieked more, and Seibrum caught Zeis arm, Zei, dont!! He hasnt done anything!!
Zei glared at him, mainly deciding this was /all/ Seibrums fault for dragging him into this, Who the hell cares?! his violet eyes blazed, are you finished with her yet?? he tightened his grip on Fue-chan, and she sobbed pitifully in pain.
Seibrum didnt let go of Zei, gazing at him seriously, No. We need to get her calmed down, and youre not doing a very good job of helping it.
The mazoku cursed, Shes making us look like fuckin rapists!!
But Hazel was weakly on his feet now, wincing in pain, but still determined, Just let her go...
Zei narrowed his eyes, Just back off, you asshole. With that, he raised his hand and shot out another energy ball. But, near where it would have hit Hazel, a large wall of wind caught it and dispersed it, hitting many parts of the room, including Seibrums arm, but protecting Hazel. He looked around, wide-eyed, and in an instant, Jaydrian was in front of him, wind swirling around her body like an aura, her gold eyes narrowed at Zei.
J-Jaydrian!! Hazel exclaimed, bewildered. She didnt turn to him, but spoke, Hazel-sama, go away from here...
I have to get the girl...
Zei glared at them hatefully, but let go of Fue-chans arms to grasp her by her now short hair tightly, gritting his teeth, Oh, just fucking take her!!
With that, he flung her forward into Jaydrian, who caught her briefly, only to turn swiftly and basically pass her to Hazel. The demon caught her as she clung to him, and her protectively.
Furiously, the elf turned tried to step forward, but was warded off by Jaydrians wind. Narrowing his emerald eyes, he glanced at the mazoku, Zei, you /idiot/!!
The mazoku glared still, What do I care what he does to her?
Be before Seibrum could reply, Jaydrian repeated, Hazel-sama, take her and go away from here....
Go. Im fine.
With thick hesitation, Hazel watched her before holding Fue-chan closer and shakily fading out.
The winds died down, and the room was left with silence. Zei glared at Jaydrian solely, who let her gaze drop along with her winds. Seibrum, holding his injured arm, swallowed dully and said in a miserable tone, If she never comes back, Im blaming you, Zei.
Zei ignored him, speaking to Jayd, You. What is it with you fucking women and always getting in my way?
Jaydrian turned to go, I was protecting what I cared about, thats all. I could care less what you do.
The mazoku watched her with an icy gaze, If you interfere with me again, Ill kill you.
Jaydrian turned to look at him over her shoulder and smirked, Whatever you want to believe, you low-breed mazoku shit.
A silence echoed in the room as Zei stared at her. After a moment, he spoke, his voice shaking with rage, What....did you call me....?
Jaydrian gazed at him boredly, Maybe Ill explain it to you when you attempt to kill me.
With that, she turned gracefully and left.
Notes on the story: