Yatto Ai Anata
Disclaimer: The characters Ryuuen and Saihitei do not belong to me, they belong to Watase Yuu and all those other people who I don’t want to list currently. Watase-sama’s the only one who counts. Anyway, all the other characters belong to me, so I have full rights to them, those two, I don’t, so don’t sue me please.
Author’s Note: Well, first warning: this is a yaoi fic, meaning male/male romantic stuff, so if you don’t like it, don’t read it. It’s that simple. I don’t do well with bitching sent to me, so just don’t read it if it grosses you out.
Anyway, you’ll basically get the idea as you go along (I hope *sweatdrop*), so I won’t say much else. If anyone doesn’t know, Chou Ryuuen is Nuriko’s real, birth given name, and Seishuku Saihitei is Hotohori’s real, birth given name.
I reference a lot to the sequential stories, so if you know them, it’ll be wittier and make more sense, but if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, and everything’ll be the same, you just won’t get all the jokes.
Oh, and also, I’m really not an expert on school in Japan, I just took the bits and pieces I know about school in Japan and applied it to this, so if I have a lot of stuff wrong, gomen ne, I didn’t know any better.
And another thing: I REALLY don’t know if I write Hotohori right in this fic. This is the first fic I’ve written that he has a main role in, so I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing. Gomen, gomen, to all the Hori-sama fans. I don’t mean to write him horribly wrong if I’m doing so, forgive me.
Ryuuen felt his gaze drift over to the boy again, taking in the beautious sight of long, silky, brownish-black hair, tied back in a loose braid; golden eyes that gave out peace; soft, flawless skin--
Ryuuen’s cheeks colored a light red, and he turned his head sharply. Such thoughts, he really shouldn’t have them.
He jumped straight up in his chair as a ruler came slamming down on his desk. His frightened brown eyes came up immediatly to the furious sensei, standing before him.
“Chou! Repeat what I just said!” the sensei ordered, getting so close to the purple-haired boy’s face, Ryuuen could smell foul cigerette breath waifing past the years-yellowed teeth.
Ryuuen sat back a little, flustered and blushing slightly, and his gaze involuntarily shot to the brown haired boy, who’s eyes were on him, as was the rest of the class. This flustered his mind more and all he could stammer out was, “Boku..well, er, um...boku...er, well--”
The ruler came down on Ryuuen’s head, and pain shot from the spot. He clutched his head, guarded by thick locks of purple hair, “I-itai....”
“Pay attention!” the sensei yelled, not wasting anymore time on him and going back to the class.
Ryuuen, still flushed and in pain, looked up to the sensei, but his mind would not focus.
The student had just transfered here from a different school, only a couple weeks ago. He’d walked into the classroom, confident, but almost...sad looking; his hair was much longer than any of the other boy’s. He’d struck Ryuuen almost immediatly, and he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of him the whole day. His last name, Seishuku, was mentioned, but not his first, and Ryuuen was dying to know.
He hated it. He absolutely dispised being in love with a guy. I can’t be gay! he’d think. But it was not an issue to deny. All he knew is he was different from everyone else in his class, in his school. He’d never thought he could be gay, and grown up not even thinking about it, even though he’d never really felt attracted to girls, or liked any girl for that matter. He’d thought he was just to young to like anyone like that, but the minute that new boy walked into the classroom, he knew he’d been wrong.
If only I liked girls, he thought, if only I could be normal. Please, Kami-sama, bring me a girl I’ll actually love so I’ll know there’s nothing wrong with me.
Unfortunately, it was too late to bring a girl into the picture, and it would only complicate things further. He was already in love with a guy, and he knew in his heart he didn’t want a change.
If only I was a girl, he thought, looking down at his hands. Long, graceful hands. It was true, his features were very feminine, so feminine, he was often mistaked for a girl with short, rugged hair. Maybe, just maybe, he thought, resting his chin on his hand, if I was a girl, I’d have a chance for him to love me.
**********
“So, Ryu-chan, what were you thinking about today in class? When sensei hit you?”
Ryuuen looked up, awakened from his thought. His friends, Udon, Sakana, and Ninjin {*Udon, Sakana, and Ninjin are all names of Japanese foods: udon-noodle; sakana- fish; ninjin-carrot ^_^} stood around him, behind the school building. A cigerette glowed in all four of the boy’s hands, emmitting a long trail of smoke {‘kay, I may be flamed for this one. In Japan, it is VERY common for jr. high and high school students to smoke, more than in the US. Rarely, you’d a see a kid who doesn’t smoke at least once in awhile. So, although we know our Ryuuen is smarter, he is a school kid, and I wanted to be realistic to Japanese school life.}
Ryuuen bit his lip, then drew the cigerette up, taking in some smoke before letting it out of his mouth slowly and replying, “Oh, nanimo. Nothing important.”
Sakana grinned in a perverted teenage way, “Bet it was that girl we say when we were walking home yesterday, ne? The one with the big tits?”
Ryuuen resisted the urge to hit his idiotic friend, and smiled at the irony, “You’ll never know.”
“Ho ho!” the others laughed, slapping each other fives and such. Ryuuen sighed inwardly. What could he expect? They were only 15.
They heard the school bell ring suddenly, and after taking a couple more puffs, dropped the cigerettes, stomping them out with heavy lather shoes.
As they headed to class, Ninjin glanced at the others, “Ne, that new kid? What’s he like?”
Ryuuen’s cheeks grew a little red, and he looked down, watching his feet as he walked.
“Mmm...shirimasen. I haven’t met him. He seems kinda...lonely,” Udon replied.
Ryuuen’s heart ached. So he wasn’t the only one who saw it in those soft gold eyes. If only...if only...
“Ya know what I heard?” Sakana said, turning to the others as they walked, “I heard he’s a singer. He’s making his way to be an idol singer. Isn’t that kakkoii? An idol singer at our school!”
Oooh, sugoi!” Ninjin glowed, “demo, what’s his name?”
Ryuuen opened his ears further.
“Eh...” Udon seemed to be thinking real hard, “shirimasen! I heard his stage name is Andy...Andy something. I guess Andy’s an American name and the other one’s Chinese.”
“I’d love to be an idol singer!” Sakana said wistfully, gazing upward, “man, then I’d have all the girls!”
“Yeah, you wish,” Udon, the most handsome of all Ryuuen’s friends grinned, then he turned to the purple-haired boy, “ne, Ryu-chan, what did you say you were gonna be again? A secret something or other?”
Ryuuen smiled, his mind now on his life-long dream, “I’m gonna be a secret agent.”
Sakana snorted, “Yeah right. And I’m gonna be the Emperor of ancient China.”
Ryuuen laughed, turned around to walk backwards, watching his friends as he talked, “You’ll see. I’ll be so kakkoii, and no one will know my--oof!”
He cut himself off in surprise, running into someone. He whirled around, “Gom--” and his face flushed a bright red as he stared at the new boy.
“Oh, sumi masen, my fault,” the new boy smiled, his golden eyes shining brightly. With that, he turned and kept walking his way. Ryuuen slowly turned to watch him go, red in both cheeks, eyes wide, mouth slightly ajar. His heart completely ached. That voice...that smile...oh, this boy was too wonderful for dreams! He nearly swooned right there, but he remembered his friends were right beside him, watching him.
“Man, he’s real respectable, ne?” Udon whistled, staring after the boy with a calm expression, instead of watching Ryuuen.
“Hai...I don’t know what it is...he just seems so admirable,” Ninjin commented quietly.
It was only awe Ryuuen felt right now. How can I love someone so much when I haven’t even met them? His heart felt like a million pounds in his chest. Pain followed. Why do I have to be gay?! he thought, his eyes softening painfully, why do I have to be different?! This wonderful, amazing boy will never love me back because I’m a boy.
“Ne, Ryu-chan? Daijabu desu ka? You look pale.” Udon touched Ryuuen’s shoulder gently, his expression concerned.
But his emotions felt so anguished, he couldn’t stand there anymore, he couldn’t stand the thought of sitting in a classroom with that boy in there, knowing how much he loved him and unable to express it.
Without another word, he bolted off, away from his friends, away from the mass of boys uniformed in black slacks, white dress shirts, and black ties. He needed to get away.
*********************
He ended up in the bathrooms. He’d ran there without realizing he was heading there, came rushing through the light, swinging foor, and slammed his hands of the sides of the sink forcefully, leaning over it, hishair falling around his face, the thick locks of purple cloaking his eyes. Tears slowly welled up and ran over his soft cheeks as he closed his eyes. Baka...I’m just a baka....
He jumped as the bathroom door swung open, and he froze, raising his head sharply, the tears shining brightly on his face, and he stared wide-eyed at the new boy, as he entered the bathroom.
The boy looked up at Ryuuen, surprised that he was not alone, but a smile crossed over his face, “Oh, konnichiwa. Didn’t expect to be running into you again.”
Ryuuen stared at him as the boy made his way over to the sink. Averting his eyes and blushing, he stumbled over his words, “Boku wa...er, just...boku...”
The boy smiled, running the water over his thin, beautiful hands, and then turned his head to Ryuuen, “You’re not the most articulate fellow, are you?”
Ryuuen blushed redder, “I just...I don’t know what to say.”
The boy nodded, “Hai, understandable,” he turned after drying off his hands, and held one out, “Boku wa Saihitei.”
Ryuuen gladly shook Saihitei’s hands, butterflies flying around his stomach as his hand clasped the others. With a relieving smile, he said, “Boku wa Ryuuen.”
Saihitei, releasing his hand, suddenly looked concerned, “Ne, haveyou been crying?”
Inhis thoughts of meeting his love, Ryuuen had completely forgotten about his tears, already slid down his cheeks. He started to raise his hand to brush them away, but his hand froze in mid-air as Saihitei’s hand went to his cheek, cupping it slightly, and rubbing the tears gently with his thumb. Ryuuen’s heart nearly stopped, as time seemed to stop, as Saihitei’s eyes gazed into his own. Those two beautiful golden rings, holding so many secrets, so many emotions; the warmth and softness of his hand gently holding his face, stroking the apple tenderly. The feeling in Ryuuen’s heart was overwhelming.
Suddenly, Saihitei took his hand back, a brief smile crossing his face, “Daijabu desu ka?”
Ryuuen, taking in a deep breath after forgetting to breath, averted his eyes, “Hai...I was just...I wasn’t having a good day...”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
Ryuuen jerked his head up, and Saihitei blushed the tiniest bit in the apples of his cheeks, “Gomen, that must seem rude, coming from a stranger.”
Ryuuen stared at him, then cried, “Iie! It’s just very considerate of you...”
Now, as Ryuuen’s gaze fell to his feet, Saihitei stared at Ryuuen curiously, “You...people don’t consider your feelings a lot, do they?”
The lump in Ryuuen’s throat was large, and he swallowed it down to the pit of his stomach, where it hurt, “I-iie...my friends care about me...”
Saihitei, still gazing at the purple-haired boy, forced a warm smile, “That’s good. Demo...” he raised his wrist to glance at his watch, “I do think it’s time we headed off to class.”
Ryuuen’s eyes grew huge, “Oh, kuso! Sensei’ll kill me! He hates me already!”
The two boys had already begun to bolt to the door, jogging down the empty hallway in long strides. Saihitei, hurrying along side Ryuuen, turned his head to give a comforting smile, “If sensei’s really mad, I’ll cover for you. He doesn’t even know me yet.”
Ryuuen’s heart thumped. Oh, and he’s kind too! My Gods, I have so got a keeper!
They got to the classroom and Saihitei’s hand fell on the knob.
“By the way,” he said quietly, casting on last smile at Ryuuen, “you’ve got beautiful eyes.”
***************
“I just don’t get it! How am I suppose to use theorum postulate thingies in real life! Who cares if I’m flunking geometry?”
“Huh?” Ryuuen glanced up at Udon, as if seeing him there for the first time. The two boys were walking home together from school.
Udon smiled softly, “You’re not listening to a word I say, are you?”
Ryuuen glanced at him, then smiled, shaking his head, “Gomen ne; what were you saying?”
Udon’s smile stayed, “Nanimo. What’re you thinking about?”
“Oh, uh,” Ryuuen flushed, “nanimo...just...”
Udon grinned knowingly, “’School,’ huh?”
Ryuuen stared at him, then smiled shyly, “Yeah, ‘school.’” he sighed, “it comes to that. Pretty pathetic, ne?”
Udon grinned, wrapping his arm around Ryuuen’s neck, “Iie, yer not. In fact,” he smiled softly, “I’m rather jealous of you,” he dropped his arm, “nah, but any girl’d be crazy not to go out with you. You’re so kakkoii.”
Ryuuen blinked, staring straight ahead of him, then glanced at Udon, flattered by the compliment, but flustered by the ‘any girl’ comment. Ah, sweet Udon...
“Arigato,” he said softly, “but that’s your position. The girls are crazy about you, Udon-kun.”
Udon turned bright red, smiling embarrassedly, his eyes large, “E-eh? N-no way...”
Ryuuen laughed at his friend’s bashfullness, “Hai, hai, it’s true! They all think you’re so bishonen!”
“Yamete, yamete!” Udon laughed flusteredly, shaking his hands.
Ryuuen laughed again, but cut himself off as they heard a voice in front of them.
“Konnichiwa, Chou-kun.”
He jerked his head up, recognizing the voice as Saihitei’s, and sure enough, he stood there, his hair back in a loose braid, his over jacket slung over his shoulder. He smiled warmly, approaching the two boys. He then looked at Udon and blinked, “Who’s this?”
Udon smiled, holding out his hand, “Boku wa Udon. Hajimemashite.”
“Hai, hajimemashite. Boku wa Saihitei,” Saihitei smiled, shaking Udon’s hand. Ryuuen could only stare at Saihitei, a faint smile on his lips, his cheeks a little pinker.
Saihitei turned back to Ryuuen, still smiling, “So, where do you live, Chou-kun?”
Ryuuen blinked, then pointed to a nearby apartment building, “Right over there.”
“Oh, honto?” Saihitei smiled surprisedly, “I live near there too, a little ways over.”
Ryuuen’s heart thumped. He lived close to me and I didn’t even know it?!
“Listen, Chou-kun, you’re good in science, ne?”
“Hai...I guess...”
Saihitei looked at him, “I’m having some problems with it Will you come over for awhile and help me out with it?”
Ryuuen nearly passed out. I have the best luck in the world! How lucky is this?? Somewhere, deep in the back of his head, a little voice said quietly, “Can you be sure it’s luck?”
Perplexed, he shook the voice away, and smiled happily at Saihitei, “Hai, of course!”
“Great! Can you come over now?” Saihitei smiled, brushing a long lock of silky brown hair out of his eyes. Ryuuen swooned.
But he suddenly remembered Udon was standing next to him, walking home with him. They did, after all, live in the same apartment building. He bit his lip nervously, “Er, do you mind, Udon-kun? If we part here?”
Udon blinked, then grinned, rubbing the back of his neck, “Iie, daijabu, you go on,” he glanced at Saihitei, “it was nice meeting you. I’ll see you around,” Saihitei dipped his head polietly. Udon smiled at Ryuuen, “Ja ne, Ryu-chan.”
He turned and walked away, leaving Saihitei and Ryuuen alone in the street. Ryuuen caught his breath, barely glancing over at the other boy. Gods, he’s beautiful...
Saihitei smiled, “Do all your friends call you ‘Ryu-chan?’”
Ryuuen stared at him, then chuckled, blushing a little, “Well, hai. I don’t mind though.”
Saihitei nodded and began walking, “It’s this way to my house. Not far.”
He followed, catching up with the new boy, thinking of his own height in comparison to Saihitei’s. It was a nice height, making him feel more protected...
Gods, you’re acting feminine again! You don’t swoon and get protected by guys, you protect the girls.. Get it straight, you gay boy!
The phrase ‘gay boy’ struck him, and he felt wounded by his own thoughts. People can be so cruel, even himself.
“Daijabu?” Saihitei asked, glancing at him worriedly.
Ryuuen bit his lip, forcing a smile. He’s too wonderful... “Hai, just thinking...”
Saihitei smiled, but said nothing. They suddenly came into a neighborhood Ryuuen recognized as the richest neighborhood in town. He blinked, “You live here?”
Saihitei looked a little proud, “Hai.”
Ryuuen followed him through the large neighborhood till they came to quite possibly the largest house in the neighborhood.
“Ah, sugoi!! It’s so big!!” Ryuuen stared, his mouth ajar, thinking of this mansion-like house in comparison to his small apartment.
“Oh, domo. It’s nice. Come on in,” Saihitei said, leading Ryuuen to the door and entering.
The inside was just as astounding. It was beautifully decorated and giantic. Ryuuen could only stare.
“Ne, we’ll go to a smaller room. It’s less intimidating,” Saihitei smiled, noticing Ryuuen’s gawking.
The two went into a room, fairly simple, a den almost, with books along the shelves, and a large love seat.
Ryuuen set his books down, feeling butterflies in his stomach. There’s no one else here. I’m alone with Saihitei. “Er,” he asked, setting down his jacket atop his bag, “doko wa your parents?”
Saihitei clicked on a lamp with his long fingers, “I live by myself. My parents died.”
Ryuuen stared at him, “Nani?” he flushed at his rudeness, “gomen nasai.”
Saihitei had his back to Ryuuen, “Daijabu. It happened a long time ago.”
Ryuuen continued to stare. The poor guy! How painful it must be! He felt like holding Saihitei in his arms, comforting him, but he asked, “So...you own this all yourself?”
Saihitei turned to face him, his smile gone for the first time, “Hai. We were very wealthy, but it’s all left to me.”
Ryuuen dropped his eyes lightly, “G-gomen,” he remembered being envious of the large, wonderful house, but at least he had a loving family, even if they did live in an small, old apartment. His heart broke for Saihitei. Maybe that’s why he looks so lonely...
Saihitei walked over to him and rested a hand on Ryuuen’s shoulder, a smile there, but obvious sadness behind the golden eyes, “Daijabu. Don’t worry yourself. It’s in the past now and isn’t important now.”
Love and emotion swelled in Ryuuen once more, staring into those sad eyes and holding onto the gaze with his own. His gaze was troubled, “Demo...you seem so sad,” with a breathless sigh, he finished in a hushed voice, “you...you shouldn’t be sad...not you...”
He didn’t realize how wistful all this sounded until it came out, and Saihitei stared at him, his eyes a little larger.
Before Ryuuen could say another word, Saihitei swept his arms around the purple-haired boy, pulling him close to him in a hug. A tiny bit of breath squeaked through Ryuuen’s lips in a gasp, startled. He found his face embraced in the sweet scented locks of Saihitei’s long hair, his slender body held against the warmth of Saihitei’s, sheltered by the strong arms. A dreamy haze fell over Ryuuen, and he swooned, finding complete sancutary in the arms of the man he loved. I’m in heaven, he thought in a soft, dreamy voice, the Gods sent me down an angel, and he’s making my life heaven on Earth. Who cares if this sweet angel is a man.
It was the first time in his whole gay lifestyle he’d thought something so accepting about being in love with a boy, and it felt wonderful and...natural.
“What a nice boy you are,” Saihitei’s voice was so hushed, so quiet, and thurally glad. Ryuuen thought happily, maybe I can help his loneliness. Maybe I can be his angel too.
“Ryuuen.”
Ryuuen suddenly realized he’d had his eyes closed, savoring in the moment, and he fluttered them open questioningly as Saihitei let him away a little, keeping him there by a light hold on his arms.
“Nan--”
Ryuuen was cut off as Saihitei leaned into him and touched his lips to Ryuuen’s tenderly, yet forcefully.
Ryuuen’s heart stopped. Then, as soon as it started again, it was beating so fast he couldn’t keep up with it. This...this had to be a dream...all this is too perfect, too heavenly to be real...and yet, the warm feel of Saihitei’s soft, thinnish lips held against his own was so intense, so genuine. He could still feel Saihitei’s body, pressed against his own, the silken brown hair falling over his cheeks as Saihitei dipped him back slightly. Ryuuen’s legs felt weak underneth him, and he stumbled back alittle. But Saihitei’s embrace on him held true, and he went with him, the two clumsily stumbling back, not willing to let go of the kiss, the passion, and they slammed against the wall of the den. It didn’t phase them.
Saihitei hungrily opened his mouth, and Ryuuen followed the movement, their wet, hot mouths locked. Saihitei slid his tounge into the younger’s mouth, colliding it with Ryuuen’s. Raising his hands to grip Saihitei’s arms for support, Ryuuen kissed him deeply back, his head leaned back against the wall as Saihitei held him there.
They embraced in kissing for awhile, passion emmitting from them, and finally, Saihitei let up, drawing his lips away, his eyes half-lidded. Ryuuen’s eyes were closed, his breath long and staggered. Slowly, he opened his eyes, gazing at Saihitei dreamily. That has to be the most passionate experience of my life, and it was only a french kiss!
A...french kiss...Ryuuen’s mind processed this slowly. My first french kiss, and it was with...a guy. Oh my Gods....His eyes widened and his breath came out more panically. Oh my Gods! I just kissed a guy! I kissed a guy! How could this happen?! You’re not suppose to be gay! Don’t kiss guys! What was I thinking?! Kissed a guy?! Oh my Gods...
He was now nearly hyper-ventalating, the panic and fear of his action making him frightened. He struggled away from the wall Saihitei has him backed against, stumbling blindly.
Saihitei, suddenly realizing what this was about, grabbed Ryuuen to pull him back, his grip firm, “Ryuuen, it’s okay...”
Ryuuen didn’t reply, but fought back to get free. Finally, Saihitei brought him into a hugging embrace again, holding him tight.
“Shh...shhh...daijabu...daijabu...” he cooed softly, stroking Ryuuen’s hair comfortingly, “daijabu. This is okay. This is not evil. We are not evil.”
He repeated this, calming the frantic boy down, and Ryuuen rested in his arms, exhasted and flustered. Soothingly, Saihitei kissed his cheek and smiled softly, “I’ll walk you home now.”
Ryuuen closed his eyes, swallowing largely and nodded. The two put on their jackets, Ryuuen grabbing his bag, and headed out the door.
The whole walk was silent, almost uncomfortable. Ryuuen was lost in the massive field of his own thoughts,and Saihitei knew well to leave him be.
This is so what I want, Ryuuen knew, his gaze stuck to the black pavement quickly disappearing underneth his feet. But what I want is...homosexual. He felt his heart sink. What would my family say? What would my friends say? Oh, but now I have what I want, and I feel...scared. I feel like I’m doing something wrong, something un-natural, something evil. I feel...different. All I ever wanted to do was fit in, to be happy, to be loved. I can’t even be that.
The tiny voice from earlier said, “But you are loved...”
Ryuuen jerked his head up. Am I? Does Saihitei really love me? He glanced over at the boy, so confident and respectable-looking. Ryuuen’s heart fluttered again. Gods, I love everything about him.
They reached Ryuuen’s apartment building, and Saihitei smiled, “We can talk about this later. You need to think.”
Ryuuen stared at him, searching. I love him. I love him with all my heart. I’ve never felt so strongly about anyone. But...does he love me? He felt to shy and scared to ask.
Ryuuen actually smiled, surprising Saihitei. It could wait. He could wait to know if his love was returned. And, although he held so much fear on it, Ryuuen realized that deep down, the loving of a man was natural feeling, and he wondered how any kind of love could possibly be evil, from man to man, or straight.
With a coy little smile, Ryuuen reached up, practically on his tip toes, and kissed Saihitei sweetly. This utterly surprised Saihitei, but he gladly kissed him back, a long-lasting, soft kiss. They pulled away, smiling happily at each other, and Ryuuen turned to go into the apartment building.
“Oh, Ryu-chan?”
Ryuuen turned, his eyes questioning.
Saihitei smiled self assuredly, “We never did study science. Will you come over tomorrow?”
Ryuuen swooned, but nodded dreamily and miandered to his apartment, in absolute heaven.
*************
It’s funny, how the world, the sky seems so much brighter when you’re in love. Ryuuen walked briskly, his jacket slung over his shoulder, his bag swinging in one hand. His eyes were positively shining, and he realized he’d never been happier. He remember the kiss, the kissING yesterday as if it’d happened a moment ago, and he would often blush heavier and grin a little goofier.
He was so intent on his thoughts (“I’ll get to see Saihitei today!” “I wonder how we’ll act...” “Oh! And I get to study at his house again!”), he didn’t even notice Udon and Sakana racing up.
Sakana slapped Ryuuen roughly on the back--he had a tendancy not to know his own strength--and grinned, “Ryu-chan! Didn’t you see us coming?”
Ryuuen blinked, glancing at his two friends, “Uh, iie...gomen!”
Udon ruffled the soft locks of Ryuuen’s hair, “Ah, daijabu. We caught up.”
Ryuuen smiled softly at his friends, “So, ohaiyo.”
“Ohaiyo. O genk desu ka?” Udon asked.
“Genki desu,” Ryuuen couldn’t help the grin from striking his lips. Luckily, only Udon noticed and smiled softly.
“Ne,” Sakana said curiously, “you met that new kid, didn’t you?”
Ryuuen turned very red, and turned his head away, unable to repress the blush, “Hai, I did.”
Sakana snickered, “I saw him checkin’ himself out in the mirror yesterday.”
Ryuuen furrowed his brow sharply, “Well, who wouldn’t? He’s very handsome!”
It was the first outwardly gay sentence he’d ever said, and Udon and Sakana looked at him, bewildered. He blushed and stammered, “From a girl’s perspective, I mean. I...I heard the girls saying he was handsome...”
His friends nodded slowly, exchanging glances, but they let it go.
“Oh, you studied with him yesterday, didn’t you?” Udon asked casually.
Ryuuen nearly choked, totally flushed, but stammered out, “Hai. Science. And today, too.”
“Wow, that’s neat. What’s his house like?”
Ryuuen grinned, “It’s huge! He’s rich!”
“Wow! I wanna study with him!” Sakana grinned excitedly. Ryuuen narrowed his eyes slightly, a hint of possessiveness coming over him. Not the way he studies, you won’t....
They reached the school and went into classroom, still talking, but sat in their seats. Ryuuen was pulling a notebook out of his bag when someone leaned over on his desk, “Ohaiyo.”
He looked up to see Saihitei, standing over him, a warm smile on his face.
Ryuuen flushed in the cheeks, and gave a shy smile, “Ohaiyo.”
“O genki desu ka?” Saihitei asked, sitting down in the seat next to Ryuuen. The purple-haired boy’s heart beat faster, and he smiled, “Genki desu. Anata wa?”
Saihitei lightly pushed a long lock of his hair out of his eyes, giving a secret smile, “Genki desu, now.”
Ryuuen blushed fiercely, gazing down at his desk nervously, a tiny smile there. Gods, he so kawaii!
The sensei began class, but the whole time, Ryuuen couldn’t focus. Having Saihitei sitting next to him was a bit of a distraction, to say the least. He would gaze at him a lot, and remember the kiss, Saihitei’s embrace, and the fact that it had actually happened at all. Needless to say, he got hit by the sensei more than one time.
“Daijabu desu ka?” Saihitei asked when he got the chance, his expression worried, “your head must hurt a lot.”
Ryuuen grinned bashfully, “Daijabu. I’ve gotten used to it.”
Saihitei smiled at him and quickly turned back around in his seat as the sensei came in. Ryuuen smiled happily, thinking of how considerate Saihitei was.
The day passed surprisingly slowly. Ryuuen watched the clock and Saihitei almost the entire time. Finally, the bell rang, and they gladly got up. Ryuuen nearly tripped on his backpack getting up too quickly, thinking of the fact that he’d soon be over at Saihitei’s. That in itself was enough to make him grin goofily.
“You ready to go?” Saihitei asked, pulling on his jacket and picking up his backpack.
“Hai!” Ryuuen said, almost a little too anxiously. He flushed and coughed, and said in a lower voice, “er, hai. If you are.”
“Hai,” Saihitei smiled, as they began out the door, “ne, I was thinking, before we go to my house to study, do you want to go out to lunch?”
Ryuuen blinked and asked rather loudly, “You mean, like a date?”
A couple boys around them gave them odd looks, and Ryuuen decided to lower his voice.
Saihitei, however, smiled, “Hai, sure, we can call it that.”
Ryuuen smiled shyly again, following Saihitei outside to where they began walking side by side. They left the school yard, and Saihitei reached over and took Ryuuen’s hand, entwining their fingers together. Ryuuen felt fluttery again and sighed without really realizing it. This is so nice. Saihitei was just the right height, his hand was so big and warm....
Gods! You’re acting like the girl in the relationship! Who cares if you look like the girl in the relationship, you can be just as manly as him...
The little voice that so often now spoke up said softly, “Perhaps you can put your manhood aside for love...”
But he shoved it away, and address the word he’d used earlier, ‘relationship.’ Was this a relationship? They made out for awhile, they were holding hands, and were going on a date. Was that going out?
“Saihitei...” he asked hesitantly, and the taller man glanced down at him, “...do we...is....are we...are we going out? A couple?”
His face was red, and he avoided the golden eyes that stared down at him. Am I being foolish? Is this just a dumb question?
Saihitei nudged him gently, a soft smile on his lips, “It’s up to you.”
Ryuuen jerked his head up to his love, “Nani? Demo...a couple is two sided! It’s not just up to me!”
Saihitei looked to him, “Hai, more so. This is new to you, and you know my feelings.”
Ryuuen blinked. He did? When was he to be informed about this? But they had reached a diner. They entered and found a table. Ryuuen briefly wondered if anyone around them would be curious about them, but he then remembered what he looked like and realized they all must assume his a girl. This thought was depressing, but he was used to people being shocked at his true gender.
“What are you thinking about?” Saihitei asked curiously, placing his long hands around the cup of coffee that had been set before him.
Ryuuen glanced up, blushing. He didn’t immediatly reply, blowing softly at the hot chocolate sitting before him. Staring into it, he replied, “Nanimo...”
Saihitei took a long drink of his coffee, “I don’t believe you.”
Ryuuen smiled, almost rather smuggly, “Then you don’t believe me.”
He raised his eyes to Saihitei’s, and winked cutely. Saihitei sighed, but laughed quietly.
Ryuuen suddenly realized he wasn’t blushing everytime Saihitei said a word to him, and he wasn’t as nervous about what he said to him. I’m becoming more comfortable around him, he discovered. This thought made him exceedingly happy, and even more in love with Saihitei for letting him be himself.
You want to be an idol singer, ne?” Ryuuen asked, drinking some of his hot cocoa.
Saihitei laughed softly, “Hai, I guess that’s gotten around school. I do a lot of singing jobs and my manager’s working on getting me a record deal.”
“Ryuuen’s eyes widened, “You have a manager?!”
“Hai. It all also helps pay for the house and everything.” Saihitei said casually.
Ryuuen stared at him, “Wow, that’s kakkoii. Ne, isn’t your stage name Andy...something?”
Saihitei sighed, “Andy Wong. It wasn’t my choice. My manager seemed to think Seishuku Saihitei wasn’t very...glamarous.”
Ryuuen chuckled, “Well, it’s not an idol singer’s name. But that’s okay.”
“What do you want to do, Ryuuen?”
Ryuuen looked up, and blushed, “It’s stupid, honto...”
Saihitei grinned, “I bet it’s not. Tell me!”
Ryuuen, after more cutesy arguing, gave in with a sigh, “I...I’m gonna be a secret agent.”
He expected Saihitei to laugh like everyone else did, but he was silent with a smile. “Honto? That’s the most interesting I’ve ever heard. Everyone says lawyer or banker or something. But a secret agent--now that’s kakkoii,” Saihitei said, not a trace of sarcasm in his voice.
Ryuuen gazed at him,“You think so? Honto? No one believes I can do it.”
Saihitei shook his head, “Don’t listen to them. I believe you can do it, and if it’s your dream, go for it.”
Ryuuen couldn’t help but smile. Somehow, knowing Saihitei believed in him, it made his dream all the more worthwhile.
********************
Saihitei dipped to kiss Ryuuen again, his hair tousled and loose, falling in graceful strands around his face and onto Ryuuen’s soft cheeks. Ryuuen kissed him longingly back, his fingers entwined in the long hair, clutching the back of Saihitei’s head gently. They pulled apart slowly, both breathing hard.
“We...aren’t studying...science,” Ryuuen breathed heavily, his eyes shut.
“Mmm, you’re wrong,” Saihitei murmured, nuzzling Ryuuen’s neck, “we’re studying biology.”
Ryuuen nearly laughed, but took in his breath surprisedly as Saihitei suddenly put his hands on Ryuuen’s waist and lifted him up to sit on the dresser in front of him. The two stared at each other a moment, their breathing staggered. Then they both leaned in, kissing deeply, hungrily. Saihitei’s hands rested on Ryuuen’s hips, while Ryuuen had his hands tangled in the silky locks of Saihitei’s hair.
Ryuuen still couldn’t hardly believe this was actually happening. His heart beat so quickly, and his mind was a hazy whirl of love for the man in front of him.
Saihitei’s hand rose to grasp Ryuuen’s neck and broke the kiss, gently tightening his hold and cocking Ryuuen’s neck to one side slightly. Ryuuen still had his eyes closed and slitted them open at this change of pace.
Saihitei brought his lips up to the purple-haired boy’s neck, kissing it tenderly and gently tracing his tounge along it. Ryuuen took his breath in a sharp gasp, closing his eyes once more. Amidst the love, there was pleasure, and he gripped Saihitei’s hair more tightly.
Saihitei’s long fingers slowly grasped the black tie wound around Ryuuen’s collar and loosened it, pulling it un-done and tossed it aside casually. With that, he began to undo the buttons on the younger boy’s dress shirt. Ryuuen’s breathing came out harder, tiny beads of sweat smearing on his forehead underneth the thick purple hair.
Saihitei stopped halfway down the shirt, dropping his hand to Ryuuen’s thigh, and kissing the boy’s broad chest. He ran his tounge along his collarbone, one hand gently stroking Ryuuen’s thigh, the other holding onto his waist. Ryuuen nearly fell back, startled at how wonderful and arrousing it felt, and Saihitei held him up, tenderly kissing all along his chest.
This isn’t normal, Ryuuen thought, his eyes closed, this isn’t right. And yet, as Saihitei reached a hand up around his neck to pull him down for a deep kiss, it felt so natural, so real.
The little voice said in a hushed voice, “How can something so beautiful be wrong?”
Ryuuen, his lips still locked with Saihitei’s, thought back to the voice, “Is this beautiful?”
“Two people who love each other expressing they’re love for each other. What couldn’t be beautiful about that?”
But...Ryuuen’s thoughts were wistful, does he love me...?
“Ask him. Onegai...ask him...I’ve been waiting so long...”
But Ryuuen couldn’t. He was almost afraid of the answer. He simply kissed Saihitei yearningly, pulling the other boy closer to him and wrapping his arms around his neck.
Saihitei, his lips pressed gently against his, lowered Ryuuen gently and placed him with the ut-most care down on the soft bed, sweeting running a hand through the gourgeous purple hair.
They eventually stopped kissing, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s eyes lovingly. The moment stood still, the feeling in both their hearts overwhelming. I love him. Gods, I love him, Ryuuen thought, the fact and feeling clear and broad in his mind, in his heart.
Saihitei smiled gently, holding Ryuuen’s face with his gentle hand, caressing his higher cheek with his thumb. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead, he laid back behind Ryuuen, holding the purple-haired boy tight to him with his strong arms. Ryuuen laid gently against him, closing his eyes. In moments, they were both asleep.
***********
Ryuuen opened his eyes, fluttering them, and gazed around at Saihitei, who still held him close. Saihitei was awake, watching him adoringly.
“Konnichiwa,” he said quietly, pushing the word past his beautiful lips.
“Konnichiwa,” Ryuuen smiled softly back.
Turning his head around, Ryuuen touched his lips to the other boy’s. Slowly, they parted and Saihitei touched his hand to Ryuuen’s lips softly. Staring deeply into his eyes, Saihitei said in a hushed voice, “I love you.”
A beat seemed to flash between them, like lightening.
The purple-haired boy’s heart sped up.
“Finally...”
Nuriko blinked, his eyes wide. Tears welled up and spilled over his flawless cheeks, hot against them. His heart...his heart was pounding, feeling overwhelming. Through tears and joy, he whispered, “Hotohori....”
“Nuriko...” Hotohori said, smiling, his eyes glowing and sparkling, “Nuriko, finally...finally, I’ve found you.”
Owari